Adoption Update

It seems like the last leg of the process is really dragging out! Last month we had completed our homestudy and after reviewing it our case worker forwarded it to our placing agency for approval. Let me explain that this is just a formality as we had already been preapproved months ago..but it's all part of the process. So, we waited. And waited and waited. Finally after over 2 weeks I began to call. By 3 weeks I was concerned and decided to call the placing agency. Our contact there had not seen our homestudy. So I called our case worker Julie and left a message stating my new information. Upon getting the message she called them, and me, and explained that she had in fact sent it weeks before. For whatever reason the homestudy was sent or delivered (still not sure) to the wrong desk. Apparently it was in limbo, but finally landed in the right hands and was approved the same day. So now that the homestudy has been 'officially' approved we can move forward on all of our notarized documents. I have been working on these and have a few left to complete. Our placing agency will review them before we send them for authentication (there are many steps for each document..let's just say they are well traveled!) and once they are authenticated they will be bundled and our dossier will be created and then sent to Ethiopia. Once the Ethiopian embassy receives and approves them THEN we will be put on the waiting list. Back in May when we first started the time to complete an Ethiopian adoption was 1 year, including the homestudy time. That is to say that adoptive parents could expect to BRING HOME a baby in 12 months time..beginning to end. Now it is running 1 year from the time you get on a the waiting list just to get a referral. Then there is another 2-4 months of waiting before travel. Our dream of bringing home our little guy in 2010 is beginning to fade. However, this international adoption process is a funny thing. Things change so fast. It's hard to predict what will happen for us. We just continue to pray that not one extra day is lost in our time with our son. We know God has laid it upon our hearts to pursue this avenue and so we look forward to the day we meet our next child He has in store for our family.

20 years Overnight!

Aren't we Totally Cool...like...for real!

What would the 80's be without Michael, Madonna and Big Hair Hollie?

Check out those leggings...I'm bummed you can't

see my pink and black tennis shoes!

Oh what a night..
Last night I attended one of our neighborhood Ladies Night Out parties. I should try to be refined and call it a Ladies Night Out Event or Gathering..but let's call it what it is..A Party! The theme was 80's Night. What a blast! I found myself scrunching, spraying, teasing, spraying, lifting, spraying and flat out frying my hair just to get the same effect it had 20 years ago. I bought a bright pink and black animal print shirt, black torn leggings and pink/black tennis shoes(closest thing I could find to Vans). My friend Jo had a black mini and my outfit was complete! I even scared myself. Brian chuckled, Mal was confused and K said I looked like a Rock Star. (Proof that it's never too late to be a Rock Star!) I crawled out to my van hoping I didn't frighten my elderly neighbors and picked up another 80's babe and off we went. There were sooo many great outfits..one lady brought a cell phone from the 80's (ridiculous really), there were many preppies and lots of shoulder pads. Several other rock stars were there. Lots of neon, an Olivia Newton John wanna-be, Michael J had a fan, Madonna was well represented, tight rolled jeans and of course Lots of BIG HAIR!! We just laughed all night! Well..when we weren't singing karaoke to Lucky Star, Summer Love, Brick House and other great tunes from the best time ever! Food was even well represented with chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, and even aerosol cheese! What a great night. Then I woke this morning, 20 years older with hair from hell. Took 4 shampoos and 2 conditionings to make it lay down and soft. Kendall wanted me to style it like that all weekend. I promised her that when her time comes I'll be sure to pass on my technique.
So here it is Saturday night, almost 10:00 and everyone is in bed..while i wait for paint to dry. Seriously. That's what happens when you're 36, married, with kids, on a Saturday night. I woke this morning and decided we should paint the house. Lucky for me my not-so-ambitious husband agreed to only attacking the kitchen and hallway. We have finished the kitchen, but not dipped a brush on the hall yet. He's snoozing, I doubt we're doing much more tonight. I should be grateful, as my shoulders are aching from the rolling but truthfully I am itching to get it done so I'm a bit disappointed. I think I'm still on some sort of adrenaline rush from pretending to be 16 again and the best I can do is paint. (pathetic) Or maybe all of that hairspray has affected my brain? Either way, I guess I'm gonna pack it up for the night. I may be 16 at heart, but my bones are not! Hey..my kid thinks I'm a rock star...that's better than being 16 again!

The Kindness of Strangers

Isn't it what we pray for daily...please let this day be a good one, keep us safe and watch over our loved ones. I know that we are asking our God for help in these requests, but in the grand scheme it is man's actions we are hoping He influences right? We want the driver beside us to use his turning signal, the teacher to keep sharp scissors away from the preschoolers, the grocery clerk to pack our eggs separately (PLEASE!), and maybe even a few bigger requests like a salary increase, a free trip to the Keys and a the cleaning fairy. (Then there are the really serious prayers that I will save for another post.) And more times than not we get what we ask for, within reason of course. Unfortunately unless you are standing in a corner with a note pad there is no way to measure all of the good things that happen in a day. I've heard it said that without the bad we don't know what is good...so we must endure the 'rude' disruptions in order to have a gauge how 'good' good can be. But even then we risk getting stuck on that 'rude' thing and forget to be thankful for the smaller things in between. I think that is why we are given these 'Strangers' with a servant's heart. Those folks who find joy in giving their services, offers of kindness, seekers of everyday actions turned extraordinary.
The other night I was out to eat with my daughters and our quasi-cousins and their mom. We had been to the park, it was hot and humid and we looked pretty rough! But we were hungry so off we went to the local meat and 3. It was a slow night for them, just a handful of tables, but they had a band and chicken fried chicken so we decided to stay. The girls were laughing and dancing, acting silly really and causing us moms to roll our eyes. We were almost finished when a gentleman walked up to our table, pointed at our daughters and laid down a $20. Said he wanted to buy their meals. (We would like to think he wanted to do so b/c of how cute and well behaved they were being, not because their mothers looked like we had emptied our ashtrays to gather our last coins for dinner! However, we fear the latter!) Needless to say we were more than shocked, totally grateful and left feeling blessed. Come to find out this gentleman was known to do this sort of thing, kind of has a reputation for sharing his wealth. He's given waitresses 3 digit tips and for whatever reason insists on buying dinner for others when given the chance. I love this man. Really. That's who I want to be. I bet he doesn't stop at money though. Giving doesn't stop with money that I know. As he laid the bill down and motioned to the girls letting us know his intentions he was glad to hear our thanks but quickly moved on. He wasn't there to talk, to share some wisdom (I'm convinced he has much), or to get information. As a matter of fact, he laid the bill down, said a few words then moved on to the next table where he stopped to greet a couple of friends and then continued walking toward the door. Now that was the best, most powerful part of the whole exchange to me. He offered more than money, he offered kindness in many forms.
So here it is days later and he still has put a smile on my face. I wonder if he knows that? I hope he does. I hope we put a smile on his face! If our words of gratitude and surprise didn't do it then I hope the four bouncing, dancing angels at his feet did!
In my family we were taught to fear strangers. I just had a 'stranger-danger' talk with my girls last week. Our society spends millions on child watch/Amber Alert/school security because of our fear of strangers. Growing up we spent the day on the street in our neighborhood, bouncing from house to house with our friends. Now I don't let my 6 year old walk to my neighbors for a cup of sugar without me standing on the front porch. Is it really that bad? I remember once my mother in law saying to me that in general most people are decent and want to do the right thing. That was a huge relief to hear and made even better that someone I trusted really believed it! I try to keep that in mind, I hold tight to it when I realize my child is away from me in the hands of stranger that I'm supposed to trust because another stranger told me that I could. Then I am given a token of kindness from a man at a cafe that reminds me to stop and look at all of the good that strangers do for me and for my family everyday. I am given a moment to reflect, to relax and to enjoy the humanity around me. And I know that the next talk I have with my girls will center around ways to pay it forward, because make no mistake that is what it is all about.

Happy New Year Baby!!

Today is the first day of the new year in Ethiopia. Ethiopian New Year (Enkutatash) is still very alive and celebrated in Ethiopia. Below you will find the information sent to us regarding this holiday from our adoption agency. It's so hard to imagine another group of people just few miles away (ok, a little further than that), still hanging out in year 2002. The neatest thing for us to think about is that our son, whether born last year or this year will be able to say he was born before his big sister Mallory and only a year (or 2) after Kendall. I imagine that will be turned into a great debate between the three of them for many years! Wonder what year his birth certificate will list??



September 11th Ethiopia welcomes in the New Year ! The year 2002!!

Ethiopia still retains the Julian calendar, in which the year is divided into 12 months of 30 days each and a 13th month of 5 days and 6 days in the leap year.



The Ethiopian calendar is 8 years behind the Gregorian calendar from January to September and 7 years behind between September 11 and January 8. Enkutatash means the “gift of jewels”. When the famous Queen of Sheba returned from her expensive jaunt to visit King Solomon in Jerusalem, her chiefs welcomed her back by replenishing her treasury with inku or jewels. The spring festival has been celebrated since this early time, and as the rains come to their abrupt end dancing and singing can be heard at every village in the green countryside; but Enkutatash is not exclusively a religious holiday. Today’s Enkutatash is also the season for exchanging formal New Year greetings and cards among the urban sophisticated - in lieu of traditional bouquets of flowers. It is a time to express hopes and dreams for the future. Meskerem (September) is seen as a month of transition from the old year to the new.

Summer of Fun

Our summer was full of family time, friends, water, dancing, and lots of great (not always great for you) food! I was sad to see the 8 weeks steal by so quickly. Admittedly it was me who dreaded the first day of school. My lazy days of summer were gone..but luckily not forgotten. This summer marked the beginning of "growing" our family. Seemed like everytime we found ourselves doing something special with the girls we were reminded that next year we will get to share these moments with another eager little soul. We are looking forward to the fall, but the summer has always been our favorite time of year. We still have a trip to the beach to look forward to...it's not over yet!!!

Toothfairy Time!

My oldest has lost one of those precious things you never get back...and her mom is a bit sad about it. To her delight she lost her first baby tooth yesterday!! She has been wiggling this tooth for weeks, over a month I know, and yesterday was 'the last stand'. She climbed in the van and with her head turned away from me asked "Mom, do you noticed anything different about me?" and she whipped around showing that precious smile minus a tooth! I was thrilled for her, what a milestone it is to loose your first tooth! Plus the fact she has been harassing our dentist since she was 4 years old about losing her tooth...I might just call them today so that he can celebrate with her!
This tooth was lost more than once yesterday. We began thinking that this tooth had had enough of the Roy's and was determined to flee the scene first chance. Once in the van K placed it in the cup holder for safe keeping when we stopped by the park. Her little sister's curiosity got the best of her and within mere seconds of close inspection the tooth was gone! K didn't know and I wasn't about to tell her. Feeling sure I could find it, I sent K home with a friend (the mom knew my dilemma..she was buying me time..thanks Ang!) and began the painful search. It was a seek and rescue mission made nearly impossible by the lack of details from the perpetrator and the fact that we had recently eaten popcorn in my van causing me to encounter many hopeful but unsuccessful discoveries. My desperation was enough that my friend sent her pre-teen daughter to my house to help me look for it. She even offered one of her daughter's old teeth as a stand in...with the agreement I would return it of course. I LOVE MOMS!! You may be thinking EWWW...but hey, we were grasping at straws here folks!! In my last ditch effort I wiggled some stuff out from my seat/console area and there it was. The smallest, shiniest, most precious baby tooth ever...at least yesterday it was the most precious ever. I was so relieved I took it inside, placed it in a sandwich bag and put it up high so that the baby sister couldn't reach it! When K arrived it was like I had taken special care of her tooth, knowing her one wish was to keep it from her sister and safe for the toothfairy to find. I had found a cute toothfairy book with a little velvet pouch to stash her enameled treasure into and again Kendall thought how very exciting this was, and I gained even more points of course! Right before bedtime Kendall wrote the Toothfairy a letter. It read:
Dear Tothfary,
I wod like to kep my toth plis. Wiy do you want to kep it? I wod like to kep it bekus it is my threshr. May I ples have a gift even tho I'm not giving you my toth? Thank you. love Kendall.
She even drew a pic of the two of them..smiling happily.

As she climbed into bed she lifted her pillow once more to check on her 'threshr' (treasure) and OMG it was not there. I was REALLY getting tired of this tooth! After a few minutes of searching we found it, in the one inch square, $5 velvet pouch on her dresser. This time I placed it under the pillow, laid her head on the pillow and turned out the light. I was NO LONGER responsible for the tooth!
She woke this morning with a handful of $1's and her 'threshr'. Made for a happy morning! She came down smiling that cute smile, advertising her latest adventure sure to bring many admirers at school.
I know it's not the last baby-like thing about her, but it is a reminder that my time with her is ever-changing and that I am required to pay close attention to this baby. For she is soon to be missing all of her baby teeth, smiling at me with a mouth full of new teeth ready to take a bite out of life! I'm holding on to all that I can.
And to you moms...incase you find yourself in the same situation, give me a call, I may just have a small threshr you too can borrow. As long as I can have it back!

Beautiful Poem

I am lucky enough to have access to some exceptional adoptive mothers(aka 'amom'). They continue to encourage and support me through this process, to which I am deeply moved by. They share my excitement and frustration. These women are strong and gentle, courageous and loyal. They are beautiful. I continue to meet new women in the process of adoption, most recently I met a teacher who is beginning her process. She is single and has decided to take on a second job to finance her adoption. I am in awe of her for I know the task at hand can be very consuming. I've recently found an adoption newletter, via email, and have found many interesting articles/blogs. (Of course I didn't 'find' it, one of my 'a'mom's recommended it...thanks!!) This morning there was a poem listed that I think is just perfect! (see below) Each night I pray for my son's birth family. I pray that his mother has peace with her decision, that she is surrounded by a support group as strong as the one I have. I pray to know her and love her, and I pray that she has a chance to do the same with me. Though we've never met, I'm sure that she is strong, stronger than she yet knows. That she is gentle, lying under the stars talking to her ever-growing belly about the dreams she has for him. That she is courageous, allowing our son his God given right to life. That she is loyal, to the point of securing her heart's safety. That she is beautiful, in the way that the stars shine for thousands of years allowing others to wish upon them and getting nothing in return. My grateful heart is beating strong for this woman and all that she already means to me and to my son and to my family.
Thought that I would share the poem....

The Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother.

Two different lives shaped to make you one.
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun.

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love. The second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent. The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions. The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile. The other dried your tears.

One sought for you a home that she could not provide.
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not denied.

And now you ask me, through your tears,
the age-old question unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling. Neither. Just two different kinds of Love.

© Author Unknown