Response to Russian Issue..

By now most have heard of the mother from Tennessee who sent her adopted son back to his homeland in Russia. And we are now aware that the Russian Government has suspended all international adoptions indefinitely. This is devastating for all involved. There are so many opinions floating around..I'm not without a few myself. Before we get to mine, I feel the need to vent about those that make my skin crawl. This is my blog and so I get to do this. If you disagree with me and wish to comment such just know I will delete your comment. It is my blog. Get your own. If you have found yourself saying such things as "why don't they just adopt from the U.S. anyhow?" (don't forget the nasty snarl) or "of course he was violent, he's been in an orphange most of his life" or "well that lady was obviously just shopping around" then you have made my skin crawl..congratulations. There are countless others that have made me cringe and sent me praying for grace. In those moments I am aware that there is a bigger picture that we have yet to see, and perhaps we will never know. MY opinion in the matter (know you've been waiting)is layered. Since I am in the process of adopting it is fresh for me. You DON'T get a child without jumping A LOT of hoops. The adoptive families home study is so in depth and so personal that I can't imagine how anyone could not be absolutely positive about the decision to adopt a child. HOWEVER this does happen..though not very often. And when it does it is devastating. You don't get to just hand them back and usually with counseling the family unit is preserved and the dream is revived. With lack of real knowledge let's just stick with what we have read. The family (mother) had reason to believe the adopted son was violent and was putting her other children in jeopardy. On that statement alone we can understand the need to do whatever she could to protect the others. To Protect Her CHILDREN. He was adopted by her family and legally her child. IF he was extremely violent, then there are much more appropriate steps to getting help than sending him home with a note of rejection. Maybe she had already tapped into those resources and felt she was not being listened to. If that is the case then I feel very sorry for her and her family. We all know our Department of Child and Family services are a joke. But where was her agency? Her homestudy counselor? What if the boy flew under the radar and ended up in Tennessee with severe anger issues, and noone knew? I doubt that would be the case, someone knew...but did they decide that a loving home would fix it?? Thus putting the adoptive family in jeopardy? Scary stuff. But take just the facts as they are..he was their son legally. And legally we are obligated to seek out help for our children when they need it. Leave no stone unturned. The steps they took to get themselves in the public eye have proven to be the wrong ones. No surprise there. Since I am not in their shoes I will not pretend to know what went on in their house. There is definitely a side of me that says 'yes, if anyone stepped into my home and physically assaulted my daughters I would stop at nothing to protect them' and then maybe I'd be on the front page too. But for me..my son has not been introduced to me yet and I have already accepted this child as my own..equal to my daughters. And yes, there is fear that we may have bonding issues, that he may come with some 'wiring' issues that won't show themselves until he is in my care, or with age he becomes aggressive because of the race difference. I know of these things because of the rigorous interrogation we underwent to get to where we are with our adoption. And for the record..you go through the same stuff if you adopt in the U.S. and yes..the same issues have been known to show up in white or black 'American' born children. Please..turn on the 5 o'clock news and you can see what our violent/angry/non-bonding American kids are doing. Don't be stupid. Be kind..show mercy and pray for this family and those that have been negatively affected by these poor choices. Poor choices are just that and the beauty is we can rectify them. We just need to be open to doing so.