Spring Break Blues

One of these kids is not like the other.... (yes.. it is a Sesame Street tune)

Poor Ty...he is over the breathing treatments!

Kendall's tonsils are ruining her Spring Break!

Sweet Mally...not sick at all...full of energy and entertainment!

This weekend we've been stuck at home with sick kids. Ty's second trip to the doc sent us home with albuterol packets and amoxicillin. He is totally over the treatments, not sure how we'll do it another 4-5 days. Kendall has been plagued with 'angry tonsils' since January really. She's made it through the weekend with the help of Motrin and frozen treats. Mallory has picked up the harmonica (among hundreds of other toys she's brought into the livingroom) and entertained us all this weekend. Her Spring Break Blues is accompanied by an Irish Step Dancing/Ballerina program that makes us all smile.

Tomorrow we meet with the physician at the Vanderbilt International Adoption Clinic. We hope to hear that Ty is up to date on vaccines and that he meets the 12 mos US standards. We are also glad to get a second opinion on his chest congestion and wheezing. I totally expect him to be all over place, so I better get busy packing my 'mommy's magic bag of tricks'!

Happy St. Pat's Day~

Today was our first official holiday spent with baby Ty. To celebrate St. Patrick we wore lots of green! We spent time at the local park, Ty decorated the sidewalk with chalk. The sisters spent time with friends and then more time with friends. Hope to get some pics of their fun day too.

Pretty Poetry....

Nick Flynn finds the father within.

Three years ago, I was walking with a friend when we ran into Robert Hass, the former U.S. poet laureate. I'd met Hass a few times, and his work meant a lot to me. When he asked me how I was, I said, as I did in those days, that I was to have a child soon. I didn't tell Hass that the very word father felt ineffable in my mouth. My own father had been absent my whole life, wandering in a type of fog I couldn't enter, though I had tried, in my own way, over the years. The idea that I was to become one soon was difficult for me to imagine—or what I imagined was that within it I would find only wreckage.

While I said none of this to Hass, I must have said something, for he got very excited, and reached into his satchel, and pulled out a copy of George Oppen's "Sara in Her Father's Arms," and read it to me, right there. Cell by cell the baby made herself...it was as if he, or Oppen, was telling me that it was already out of my hands, that all I had to do was show up, to hold this as-yet-unborn girl in my arms, and she would teach me everything I needed to know. I held on to it, this poem, and I still do, even now, three years later, as my daughter brings me all the words she has found that day—words! There will be no other words in the world / But those our children speak.

Sara in Her Father's Arms

Cell by cell the baby made herself, the cells
Made cells. That is to say
The baby is made largely of milk. Lying in her father's arms, the little seed eyes
Moving, trying to see, smiling for us
To see, she will make a household
To her need of these rooms—Sara, little seed,
Little violent, diligent seed. Come let us look at the world
Glittering: this seed will speak,
Max, words! There will be no other words in the world
But those our children speak. What will she make of a world
Do you suppose, Max, of which she is made.
—George Oppen

10 Days Home

Brian and I are still not in any real groove. We do sleep at night, though not as deep as we are used to since Ty is in our room. Brian was excited this morning when he was able to leave for work around 8:30a. His routine is to go to the gym before work..that was his routine. He and Ty get in good bonding time in the early morning, while I get an hour or two of solid sleep. The girls are on Spring Break, so they too are getting good bonding time. Ty is not feeling too great, he has a rotten cold and I suspect a little teething action, both of which sent him to bed with tired eyes and a low grade temp. I had to 'suction' his nose today..that took one episode for him to understand that is very unpleasant and should be avoided at all costs. The next two times were a struggle to say the least. His first dose of Motrin ended up on his chin and shirt, he spit it out as fast as I was squirting it in. His second dose went down much smoother with him actually holding on to the dispenser for every last drop...that's what a little taste of sugar will do for ya!

We are all trying to adjust to a 2 parent, 3 kid family. The girls are pretty self sufficient at their ages and have been able help to me with Ty. It is torture to have them use 'quiet' voices during nap time...today is the first day they both were able to do it. (That is the one thing they would probably say is the biggest issue...working around a sleeping baby. Oh, and Mallory can't stand to be stuck in the van with him if he cries..she holds her ears and says just that "I can't stand it Mom!") As soon as they heard Ty wake up they were bouncing off the walls! They ran into the bedroom and hugged him, laughed at his sleepy cuteness and talked as loud as they could without crossing the line into yelling...they couldn't help themselves.

I am so grateful that Ty likes us..really. When we met him in January he was not feeling well and at times quite convincing that we were not at all his style. I don't know what brought the change in him but boy am I glad to see his smiling face and feel his head rest on my shoulder. He plays and plays, he eats with both hands shoveling as fast as he can and, yes, he is finally warming up to the animals. Slowly mind you..but it is happening. He is very ticklish on his feet and belly laughs if I remove sock lint from between his little toes. He babbles a lot too, I know he has such a great story to tell. The girls keep saying that he says "dada" but I think that's just baby babble...it better be!

Here are some cute pics taken today..

Ty's New Village

Yesterday was the prettiest day we've had since returning from Ethiopia and all 5 us were itching to get outside. Ty went on his first stroller ride with his mama in the morning around the Village neighborhood. It has been so long since we were out and about, I was glad to see new houses going up. That means new neighbors, and closer to finishing up our 'hood which makes us all happy! After Ty's mid-morning nap and a heavy lunch (he MUST be going through a growing spurt, that kid is eating everything, and LOTS of it!) the Roy clan headed to our fountain park. I had received a text from one of Ty's newest friends, Riley, giving him the scoop on a potential kids fun zone around the corner. So off we went. Riley was right, the Village kiddos were out in full force. This was Ty's first introduction to his new neighbors, his new Village peeps were excited to meet their newest little boy. The older kids rode bikes and practiced gymnastics in the grass. Ty enjoyed his first Goldfish snack, apparently there were a few on the ground, and he too practiced a little gymnastics on the grass. We loved our time outdoors and watching Ty around the kids. He definitely feels comfortable surrounded by little people. After our fun outing we brought a very tired little boy home for a nap that he apparently didn't want. Giving thanks again for the Ergo Baby carrier! Strapped him on and set about cutting up fruit and making mashed potatoes. Later we joined the kids at the Johnson's for an evening cookout. What a great time we had! 8 pm and all were asleep, even Brian! I was left to watch t.v. alone, with a left over plate of brownies. That's what I call a perfect ending to a perfect day!

Ty's New Village family

First time Ty has experienced grass, it didn't slow him down!

Big Sis Kendall, gosh she's pretty!

Half of the Johnson's Crew

Ty's friend Levi...I want to frame this pic I love it so!

Five Days??

I cannot believe it's been only five days home. Literally I can't believe it and have counted it on my fingers many times. It feels like longer, of course my lack of sleep and cabin fever aren't helping I'm sure! But Ty is doing wonderfully! His sleep schedule is coming around and last night he slept from 8 pm until 6 am. Mallory is no longer asking to see his diaper and Kendall is still not ready to pick him up...but they are both still very much excited about having a little brother. Ty came home with a bit of an upper respiratory/cough and we are debating taking him to the doctor for it but other than that he appears to be feeling well. I noticed last night that his skin seemed brighter, his eyes wider and his face a little rounder than just one week ago. He is all about smiling now and laughs out loud when tickled. He is unsure of the animals, though he did find Frank Jenkin's tail this morning and tried to bite it. Mallory thought that was hysterical. He loves table food and I imagine before long he'll start spitting the strained veggies back at me in retaliation. We've learned the secret to a successful diaper change is a wagon wheel snack (Gerber genius again!). He will NOT go back to sleep when he wakes up unless he's laying on my chest. He is definitely bonding with Brian and they have spent the last 2 mornings quietly hanging out while the 3 Roy girls sleep. He has discovered the stairs that lead up to his room and makes a bee-line for them when we aren't looking. Today he pulled himself up beside me and let go, standing all by himself for 3-5 seconds. He would get so excited that he'd make himself fall. I bet he did it 5-6 times. We're looking for baby gates now... we know our time is limited before he starts walking!

First Night Home...

Our first night home was a success. We put Ty to sleep at 9 p and he slept straight through to 6 a.m. We have his playpen set up in our bedroom where he will be sleeping for the next several weeks so that we can all adjust back to our Tennessee sleep schedule. He was crying when he woke, a little confused but as soon as we picked him up he relaxed and smiled.

What a gift!

Welcome Home Ty Roy!

Thirty hours of travel for your first time on a plane at age 12 months is no laughing matter. Our first flight left at midnight Friday night. Ty fell asleep right before we got to the airport, but woke less than an hour later and didn't fall back asleep. I will admit a little fault in this issue as I broke the 'smart mom rule #103', don't brag about your kid's great sleeping habits. I had JUST told this lady standing in line at the check in counter about how great he sleeps, he sleeps 12 hours, we expect he'll just sleep until we reach Frankfurt. (As I'm typing this I'm kicking myself!) So around 2 a.m., he decided he would go to sleep but only if I was holding him, in the way he wanted to be held. I cried. Yep, right there on a packed airbus with people looking at me and Brian giving me the 'you gotta be kidding' look I just let 'em fall. There was no holding back, I was exhausted, missing my girls and frustrated as heck that I agreed to the 'let's encourage him to bond with you first that way he will feel extremely comfortable no matter what' rationale that we assumed was best at the first of the week. So we slept, Ty in my arms, me laying across 2 seats and our heads in Brian's lap. It was miserable. When we got off of the plane we went in search of the sleeping cots. They weren't out. I didn't care. I found a row of chairs, took off the sling, secured in onto Brian with the baby, found my pillow and slept for 2 hours with strangers walking past me. Yes, I was one of those airport people and I did not care. When I woke I was a new woman. We went to McDonald's where I drank the best iced fountain Sprite ever! We met up with our friends the Chains and spent the next several hours sharing stories. Our next flight was a huge success, Ty slept in his seat for 7 of the 8 hour flight. Bliss. Our experience at the Philadelphia airport was awful..I mean literally awful and I fully intend to send a scathing email soon!

When we arrived in Nashville we were full of energy, ready to see our girls. My parents parked the van and brought the girls in with balloons to greet us. It was a great surprise and a wonderful memory to share with Ty when he gets older. The sisters are in love with their brother. Kendall can't believe how cute he is and how small he is. Mallory can't quit giggling and touching him. When we got home Mallory had to help feed him, and wanted to change his diaper (I was able to negotiate a side line job for her). Kendall helped feed him his bottle. He was not at at all shy with them and his eyes were full of delight. We are tired and achy, but boy are we at peace here with our three kid in our own home. What a blessing...what blessings they all are!

Mallory's first big sister job..she wouldn't take

no for an answer!

Kendall was amazed with his small hands and fingers.

His first visit to his room. Mallory was eager

to show him his toys.

Homeward Bound

This morning we were escorted back to the Post Office area for more souvenirs. I must say that I enjoyed this trip more than the other two times we went. I think because it was early, before 10 a.m., so there were not many people out and we could focus on buying our items. We picked up several items for Ty and the girls, and even a few for ourselves. A common phrase in Amharic is Eshee...means OK. Brian has gotten into the habit of using Eshee this week, so it seemed apropos that he buy a shirt with the Amharic spelling. In about 1 hour we had everything bought and were headed back to our guest house.

We have a friend here, Girma, who had invited us to his house for lunch. He called just as we were leaving our shopping area and we worked out a place to meet so that we could just get in the car with him. It was the first time I've ever sat in the front seat, on a busy road with a baby in my lap. That was weird. We arrived safely and I hope Ty doesn't expect that happen when we get home. I'm wondering how he'll deal with the US car seat?

Girma and his wife hosted a lovely lunch of dora wat, lentils, injera and another dish I can't name. We met their family and friends and everyone complimented us on Ty. They also congratulated us. The older gentleman, whose name I don't think we were ever told because he was affectionately known as father (he is close with Girma and a retired Priest), gave me the best compliment yet. After we were there for about an hour he said to Girma and Brian..."I can't believe how lucky that boy is. Look how she loves him, as if he is her very own." He is my own, but I know what he was talking about and I felt honored to receive the compliment. Girma's wife and her sister took turns walking Tamirat, hoping to help me as he was in need of a nap but not at all willing to miss the excitement. Each time he would hear me, or see me, he would cry for me. It is such a good feeling to know your newly adopted son wants to be with you. Praise God.

After several hours of visiting we packed up and headed back to the guest house. Today was a super hot day! The car ride home was miserable with the little hot potato against me and the windows barely cracked, no a/c. Yikes! When we reached our house I headed upstairs to peel the clothes off of us.

We packed up and had our dinner with the Fischers. We hope to visit them this May, but they promised us that if we can't get there in May they would like to visit us later in the summer perhaps. This has been a super special week. We are home sick and can't wait to get on the plane tonight, but there is still a little sadness associated with leaving this country. We know this is not goodbye forever, and that helps.

Looking forward to a glass of sprite with ice, breakfast cereal with milk and my girls smiles.

Ty with his African outfit on and his Ethiopian passport.

Our last Ethiopian sunset, for now anyhow.

Dinner out...

Last night we decided to visit another great Ethiopian restaurant. We had heard good things about this restaurant/art gallery, Mankush. This was an upscale restaurant and the dishes were enjoyed by all. The USD goes a long way here...the dinner for 7 adults ran under $100, can't remember the exact amount. That included full entrees for 6, 4 appetizers, cold sodas (a luxury here!) and really great service.

Wednesday in Ethiopia

We headed out this morning to a small region named Korah, about a 20 minute drive from our Guest House. This is one of the most (if not THE most) impoverished area in the Addis area. We had been hoping to visit the Alert Hospital, the lepracy hospital, and shop in their gift store. The patients make all of the items there and we have heard it is a trip worth making. What we didn't realize is that today is Victory Day, all schools are closed, many businesses are closed..including the gift shop. We also wanted to meet the lady running Project 61, her name is Summer and she is from Thompson Station, TN. She met us around 10:30 and took us on a tour of the village. My mind is still reeling from what I saw, and I don't think I can do it justice at this point. This is poverty like you image you are going to see in third world countries..but you can never prepare yourself for it. 10 people live in an room the size of my bathroom. The dump is nearby, and it is the main reason this village exists. The village is built ON a cemetary. When the gov't created the dump, the people followed so that they could sort through the trash for food, and items that they could resale to make money..very little money. One of our translators from our guest house grew up there and has a phenomenol testimony..he is very close with everyone there and was very instrumental in our experience. Summer is an angel! She and her husband just took over this ministry..Project 61...and they find American families who are willing to support an Ethiopian child from the Karah region and send them to a private boarding school in another region. It is a ministry worth knowing about my Tennessee friends! For $600 a child can be housed, clothed and fed for an entire school year....with a top knotch education. Right now they have over 700 kids in the program, many still needing sponsorship. As we walked through the area the kids just flocked around us. If your hand was available it wouldn't be for long..they are very loving children. They were sooo excited to see us with Ty and my friend Sabrina had her daughter too. Frequently the babies would be admired with a touch on their feet, hands or backs. One teen girl walked straight up to me and before I knew it she had leaned in and kissed Ty on his cheek. Amazing. It will be something I pray over tonight and night's to come in hopes of understanding how to process that experience.

Ty is continuing to open up to us and really bless us with his sweet self! He interacts with me mainly and isn't afraid to explore my face with his fingers. We are so glad that he is not a picky eater and has not had any difficulty transitioning to our Gerber products and formula. He has a nasty cold, but other than that he is super healthy. Tonight we went to a very nice Italian restaurant and art museum, Makush. Ty was a polite baby, sat in my lap while i fed him and allowed me to eat too. I know those days won't last long, so I'll brag about them while they last. Brian is the 'closer', and seems to have the magic touch with walking Ty and putting him to sleep, though tonight he just walked him through the art gallery and entertained him as much as Ty was willing. It was dark out on our way home, the first time we've ever been out in the evening. There were many people out and about. Ty loved the lights and fought sleep the entire way home. He went to sleep within 10 minutes of laying down, tired boy!

Tomorrow is our Embassy appointment. Our friends had their appointment on Tuesday and have assured it looks like the DMV with rows of windows and an illuminated number sign. We don't anticipate any surprises and look forward to this last step in this long journey!

This is a bunk room that P61 allows orphans

and women a safe place to sleep.

The welcoming committee in Korah is comprised

of little people with big smiles and a

precious way of winning your heart!

12 Hours Later...

This sweet boy slept for 12 very long hours! He woke up crying and I swooped in, we had been waiting for him to wake up. Once I had him in my arms he stopped crying and was happy to be held. We moved to the living room area where he seemed more comfortable looking through the suitcase for his toys we brought. He loves the little board book and the trucks.

After breakfast we had to return to the transition home to fill out our Embassy documents. I was very apprehensive about returning with Ty. It seemed like a cruel trick, to take him back to the place he knows as home and then drag him away again. I imagined a crying baby, distraught to be kept from his beloved nanny...I was sad for him. When we pulled up he recognized the guard right away, and the scenes too. He was definitely alert and offering more smiles than ever. My heart was heavy, dreading the disappointment this little boy was going to suffer again. They walked us up the stairs, past Ty's old baby room and into a room that was lined with large gymnastic mats used for baby play. To my great relief Ty was not trying to get away from me but just the opposite. He was laughing, playing and continually returning to me. Our house guide, Hermella, even noted how much of a difference she saw in him in one night's time. Some of the nannies came in to say hi to him and he smiled at them...but didn't cry for them. Of course he did not see HIS nanny, and for that I am grateful. I wonder if she knew? I bet she did. Maybe she didn't come in an effort to spare him because history had taught her with babies she's helped raise. Or maybe she didn't come to spare herself. This is such a special bond between nanny and baby, she was his mother until I arrived. I don't know what she was doing, but I can imagine how it must have hurt to let go. I will be saying extra prayers for her, for all of the nannies at the HOH.

After lunch we rested for a little while and then went out souvenir shopping with our new friends the Skiles. There is a really great area called the Post Office with lots of small shops carrying great souvenirs. I carried Ty in the Ergo Baby (thank you Courtney!!) and though he is the hottest little bean ever, we managed not to melt each other. :) The Fischer's had their Embassy Appt during this time and afterward they joined us a the Post Office. Afterward we all headed to each dinner at a great restaurant..Island Breeze. Supposedly the owner had lived in the states and ran a restaurant for many years before returning to Ethiopia. The menu really does cater to Americans and we enjoyed chicken wings, avacado dip/chips, pizzas, buffalo chicken sandwiches and french fries. The music was old rock/pop and we found ourselves relaxing with each bite. By the time we were finished we all were full and tired!

Tomorrow we are going to visit the Leprosy hospital. The residents make crafts and sell them in their hospital gift shop, sounds interesting. Ty is fast asleep at 7:30 pm, and we are exhausted too. But the Fischer's have friends visiting, they are here adopting too, and everyone is enjoying swapping adoption stories and good humor. Though we are tired, the evening is one of our favorite times of the day. We all meet down stairs around the dining area and chat about the day's events. We've had many meaningful conversations with the staff here too. This trip is definitely about getting our son, and with that comes many more blessings through these friendships!

A little after lunch snooze...

Enjoying his suitcase of fun!

First Day with Ty...more pics

Spending a little one of one time in our room, Ty really enjoyed
playing with books and liked to be read to. Made it nice to have
an easy way to interact with him.


Ty's first 'American' meal...Gerber Sweet Potatoes and Corn.
No complaints, he ate it all. We forgot to get his feeding schedule so
we winged it...and he didn't mind at all.

Changing him out of his transition home clothes and into
one of the outfits we brought for him. I couldn't resist the first naked baby pic...he did have on a diaper!

He loved the board book..would not let it go.

The REAL Gothcha Day!

This morning our van arrived around 9 a.m. and picked up four very anxious adults. We were up early and ready to go pick up our babies! When we arrived the nanny brought Tamirat to us. First sight of us and he busted out crying..not quite the welcome we were hoping for but also not unexpected either! After a few minutes of walking around he calmed down and for a slight moment we romanticed the idea that he might just remember us... We joined our friends the Fischers in the family room and just relaxed with our new babies. It wasn't long after that Ty did what he is most famous for doing with us..he fell asleep in my arms.

This time when he fell asleep I was not at all disappointed..we have the rest of our lives together!

After hanging out at the Transition home for a few hours we were given the ok to leave with our little ones. Ty had not been crying (he was sleeping) and when he awoke he was a bit confused. We were not confused that he wasn't real happy with us, but we were so happy we just our emotions lead the way. In the van Ty was very curious and stared out the window sitting on my lap. (There are no car seats here and it is very legal to hold your baby while driving the car as we witnessed first hand from a car in front of us.) We also gave him a lollipop, in celebration of the big day.

Leaving the transition home, headed to our guest house. Big smiles from everyone!

When we arrived at our guest house the staff greeted us with enthusiastic smiles and admired our cute boy. We took him directly to our room to have a little one on one time with him. If someone new had met us at that moment they would have thought we were first time parents...giddy and anxious!

Entering our guest house suite. Exciting!!

We all sat in the living area on the floor and fed Ty his lunch. He never cried once we left the transition house. Completely surprised us. After lunch we played with a few toys. Ty showed us that in fact he does like toys and can crawl...both of which we were unsure of based on our last visit.

Ty and Brian...checking out the space.

Around 3 Ty started showing signs of being sleepy so I laid him in the playpen we were using as his bed. He had held onto a mini board book the entire time and kept it with him during his nap. He never moved..he slept solid for over 2 hours. When he woke up he actually smiled at me. Still no cries. As the afternoon progressed we were able to see a side of him that we had not before..a curious little boy who can crawl, babble and even smile if he wants to. Can't wait to see what he'll teach us tomorrow!!